Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Well, Well, Well......

Because I know I have a couple of male readers, I won't go into the gritty details, but suffice it to say that I've been dealing with an issue the past few years.  A girly issue.  So if you are already uncomfortable with where this is heading, keep on scrolling through your blog reader.

For those who've decided to continue reading, consider this your daily public service announcement.

So this issue has been getting progressively worse over the past several years, enough to where I am miserable and in quite a bit of discomfort on a regular basis.  That's all the detail I'll give you because you are smart women (I'm assuming that the men have stopped reading at this point) and you have probably figured out the general issue.

When I asked my ob/gyn about it a couple of years ago, he did an ultrasound and thankfully ruled out all the scary things.   He recommended I have this procedure.  In fact, he was almost insistent that I have it done; I couldn't believe the amount of time he used trying to convince me to do it.  I read the pamphlet he gave me (provided by the company that manufactures the equipment used in the procedure, of course).  I also did some research on my own and decided against it.  I can't describe it, but I just didn't have a good feeling about it.

Another twelve cycles of misery passed and I went back to my ob/gyn for my annual visit.  We discussed the issue again.  He suggested the procedure again.  I declined.  His only other suggestion was this procedure.  I may be approaching a milestone birthday, but I am way too young to be considering that one.  So I declined it as well.

I went another twelve cycles in complete misery and spent my time researching natural remedies.  Most of them pointed toward homeopathic doctors who performed extensive blood work and hormonal balancing.  This is all well and good for people who have better insurance than I do or don't have three kids to put through college.  That stuff is Expensive with a capital E.

So we discussed the issue again this week at my annual visit.  Wouldn't you know it, he didn't recommend the procedure he'd been so gung ho about a couple of years ago.  He said that there have been some adverse effects from it in younger women like myself.  (I loved that he called me younger - it's been a while since I've heard that word used to describe my age.)

He gave me several alternatives, one of which was a new, super expensive medication.  When I gasped at the monthly price, his nurse informed me that it would be less expensive with the manufacturer coupons they could give me.  I've been around the block enough times to know that this means some cute pharm rep in a short skirt bought lunch for the office and pushed it on them.  Sigh.

I guess my gasp at the cost sufficed as my answer to that alternative and I ultimately went with a solution that is a lot less expensive and much less invasive than the ones he suggested earlier.  I'm still not thrilled with it, but for the sake of my sanity, I had to do something.

So I guess the public service announcement is this: if you're not comfortable with a medical procedure or your gut feeling regarding it is a bad one, don't do it.  Or at least think really long and hard about it.  If I'd gone ahead and had the procedure he'd suggested a couple of years ago, I might be suffering from the adverse side effects he mentioned.  I actually shudder a bit when I think about it.

Hopefully, I will be feeling better in a few months and I won't have to search through a laundry list of possible remedies for this again.

Sometimes it stinks to be girl.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Natural Consequences

We have really tried our best to guide and/or advise our kids while still letting them stumble and fall.  We generally like to let them enjoy the natural consequences of their actions.

When Syd procrastinated on a project for school (albeit a very pointless, stupid project [but we did our best to keep our opinions to ourselves]), she received a not-so-great grade on it.  Actually, she received two not-so-great grades on it bringing her average down.  Natural consequence.

When Liam lost his jacket on the playground, I made him buy a new one with his own money.  Natural consequence.

Evan knows that his not learning how to ride a bike means he can't keep up with his camping buddies while they toodle around the campsite on their monthly trips.  Natural consequence.

But at what point are natural consequences not enough of a punishment for your child?

Syd has always had a sensitive stomach.  She cannot stay up too late or eat too much junk food because her stomach will get upset.  She has known this for a long time.

We've let her suffer the consequences: having to come home early from a sleepover, having to sit through church with a queasy stomach, having everyone at camping call her "the girl who always throws up".  All natural consequences for something she has to learn to regulate herself.

I thought we'd finally turned a corner on this issue when we went to a swim party with a bunch of her friends yesterday evening.  While several of her friends completely pigged out, she only had a couple of pieces of pizza, a small drink and bit of ice cream.  She even sat on the side of the pool for a good 15 minutes after eating while watching her friends play so that her stomach could settle.  I was so proud of her for regulating her food choices and activity level.

And then the pool party ended (at her usual bedtime) and what did she do?  She grabbed another piece of now cold (and greasy) pizza and another sugary drink.  She took her shower and went to bed well after her usual bedtime and I warned her that I didn't want to hear about an upset stomach before church the next morning.

Lo and behold, I go to wake her up this morning and she has a throw-up bowl next to her pillow.  I simply said, "You're lighting the candles this morning.  It's time to get up."  She asked for dry cereal for breakfast and spent forever in the bathroom, but I'll give her credit that she didn't say a word to me about her stomach.  She (sneakily) asked Ryan for some medicine while I gave the dog his morning walk and we headed out the door.

I dropped everyone off at the door of the church due to the rain and as soon as my soaked self sat down in our pew, Ryan told me Syd was sick in the bathroom with my niece keeping watch over her.

I wanted to scream.

When is she going to learn?  At what point are natural consequences not enough?  I don't think I should have to tell my now ten year old what she can and cannot eat.  When is she going to learn this for herself?

I helped her clean herself up, cleaned up the toilet and thankfully they found someone to fill in for her.  And then we left a mere five minutes after getting there and five minutes before the service started.

She's now in her room "resting" and I took away her access to all electronics because if she's "sick" then she needs to rest.

But for how long?  The rest of the day?  Do the rest of us have to have our afternoon plans ruined (and we had something really fun planned) because she can't get a handle on this?

What is the correct term for this situation?  Maddening?  Frustrating?  Bewildering?

Or do I call it what it is - parenting?

Do other parents have to deal with this sort of thing, too?