A Long-ish Update and Random Vent

Can I just say thanks for all of the supportive comments and private messages on my last post?  To know that other people (even ones who've never met him) care about my little guy makes me have a little more faith in humanity.

I decided to not confront his teacher about the whole mess.  The school year is almost over and there's nothing she can do at this point that would help him.  Plus, just the thought of having a conference with her over this makes me upset; I cannot even imagine how upset I'd be in her presence while discussing it all.  I've got another kid starting at that school next year and I don't want to be known as the parent who cries uncontrollably.

But, when his teacher sent home a note saying Liam didn't do his work in class because he was playing around too much, I did respond back with a note of my own asking her to move him if it would help him focus more.  She replied that she would if the behavior continued.  I find this situation strange because of the thirty something weekly conduct grades he's received, only three have been "S" (Satisfactory) instead of "E" (Excellent).  Playing around can't explain the pile of unfinished work, can it?  If so, exactly how poorly behaved are the other 17 kids in his class if he's one of only three kids who got to attend the Good Behavior Party last week?

Anyway, enough of that.  Summer will be here soon enough and we can move on with our lives.  Hopefully.

Liam did manage to finally get through all of his sight word cards this week without any help which earned him a new Wii game.  And yes, I know bribes are terrible, but it was seriously the only thing to motivate this poor child.  The best part was listening to Evan prepping him before we went over the words.

Evan (holding up flash card): What's this one?
Liam: Ell.  No.  All.
Evan: And if I put a 'b' in front of it?
Liam: Ball.
Evan: And if I put an 'f' in front of it?
Liam: Fall.

Future teacher, maybe?

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Speaking of Evan (how's that for a terrible segue?), his birthday is next week.  We throw a big party for the kids when they turn five so it's his turn for lots of his friends to invade our house and eat cake.  However, of the 16 invitations we handed out, I've received only four replies all of which were "no".  I see most of the parents on a regular basis at school, but I haven't heard a word from any of them.  I even included an e-mail address for RSVPing on the invitation for the more introverted parents who don't like to socialize in the hallway or talk on the phone.

So now I'm in a panic.  Are the other twelve coming or not?  How am I supposed to plan a party when no one RSVPs?  Are we going to have a bunch of leftover cupcakes?  Am I going to have a devastated five year old on my hands if no one shows up?

Talk about frustrating.

The moral of this story?  Please RSVP to parties so Type A mothers like myself don't get in a tizzy.

Heartbreaking

I love this kid.  I love him so much it hurts.

But I am heartbroken for him and I honestly don't know what to do.

He's six and half years old and is really struggling to read.  I mean, really, really, struggling with it.

I know that kids learn to read at different ages.  At least in my head I know this.  And it should be fine to let him work at his own pace, but his school seems to think that all kids should be reading geniuses by the end of kindergarten; heaven forbid there be any student who can't independently work on the five million worksheets needed to prepare for a stupid standardized test.

My sweet Liam just cannot do it.  He sat in my lap and cried the other day after struggling with his sight words.  This is a boy who generally cries only when he is seriously physically hurt.  Getting knocked over on the soccer field doesn't phase him.  Not being able to read the word "all" on an index card makes him cry, though.  He looked up at me with tears streaming down his face and asked, "Why is reading so hard for my brain, Mommy?"

It almost killed me.

I don't know what it's like to struggle with the concept of putting letters together to make words.  It's always been easy for me.  It was easy for Sydney who finished the entire Harry Potter series by the end of 2nd grade.  It's easy for Evan, who is 18 months younger than Liam and reading at a level that is probably on par with most first graders.

The look on Liam's face when Evan reads an entire book by himself is the saddest I've ever seen on a small child.  He is humiliated that his little brother reads better than he does.

Heaven knows I have tried with him.  I've looked for books that fit his interests; he still doesn't want to read them.  We look for words everywhere to practice: signs on the side of the road, the church bulletin, restaurant menus.  He just doesn't like it.

He's never enjoyed reading.  While the other two kids would climb into my lap as toddlers and read book after book for hours on end, Liam would sit still for about five minutes and would be done.  Bedtime stories don't interest him; he'd rather play with his legos for an extra ten minutes or draw a picture.  While the other two are content to read a book in the car, he'd rather look out the window.

I know every kid has their strengths and weaknesses.  His strength is his athleticism.  Despite his asthma, he will join in any physical game or sport with anyone.  He'll jump into a basketball game with kids twice his size and age.  He kayaked for the first time over the weekend and was great at it.  He was riding a bike at the age of three and excels at soccer.  How many adults can run at full speed and kick a moving ball at the same time?  Not this one, I can tell you that.

But his teacher doesn't care about that.  She doesn't care that he can take a pile of legos and build anything you tell him to.  She doesn't care that he is constantly drawing pictures.  She doesn't get how amazing it is that he can tell you the entire Star Wars saga from start to finish in one sitting despite the fact that two years ago you couldn't understand a word he was saying due to a speech development issue.

She does care that he can't finish his work.  She sent home a huge pile of it today with a note saying, "I found these in his box.  He either didn't finish them or didn't turn them in."  The pile was a good three inches thick.

Did she tell me how long this pile has been accumulating?  No.  Did she tell me why he can't finish his work?  No.  Did she tell me why she's just now noticed this gigantic pile of unfinished work in is cubby?  Nope.

He's told me more than once that he's had to miss recess to finish his work.  So first of all, his teacher knows this is an issue and he's struggling.  And second of all, as a 25 year veteran kindergarten teacher, she should know that taking away recess from a physically active kid is not going to encourage him to finish his work.  It does the exact opposite.

In all fairness to her, I haven't spoken to her about it yet.  She may have a perfectly logical explanation for the entire situation.  But what am I supposed to do about this when school ends in four weeks?  Just how long has he been sitting at his little desk struggling and getting frustrated?  How long have those unfinished papers been sitting in his cubby?  I know that teachers are overworked and underpaid; I was one for several years.  But I can't  begin to describe how angry I am right now.  Quit sending home cute notes about how the class watched baby chicks hatch or how they made little ice ball snowmen and timed how long it took them to melt or how you all worked together to build a paper dragon for Chinese New Year.  Those are great activities and I'm glad he got to experience them, but I'd rather you notice (and care) when my kid is struggling!!

No wonder he hates school!  I know most kids say that lunch and recess are their favorite subjects, but knowing what I know now, I don't doubt that those are his favorite times during the school day.

I feel like I've failed him.  I feel like his teacher has failed him.  I feel like he is never going to like school because he's had such a rough first year of it.  This is exactly why I requested a certain teacher (not the one he has) for him when I registered him for kindergarten.  He may be physically resilient, but he is emotionally fragile.

All I can do is make sure he has an awesome summer because next year will likely be absolute torture for him.

And it shouldn't have to be.

We're looking at all of our options.  There's a Montessori school across the street from his current school that warrants a visit.  I don't particularly want to home school him, but I will if I think I can match his learning style more than the school.

Learning can be fun.  It should be fun.  It shouldn't make you cry and ask why your brain doesn't work right.

Free Weekend

Ryan took the kids camping over the weekend which left me with a blissfully quiet house for a whole 48 hours.  It was heaven on earth.

Sydney thinks I spent the entire time they were gone watching "Pride & Prejudice" and eating chocolate.  Does my kid know me or what?

Alas, I did not do that.  Well, not the entire time.

I'd promised Ryan that I'd do some yard work and I think he was surprised to find that I actually did it.  Well, most of it anyway.  It started raining halfway through so I didn't get as much done as I'd planned.

I went through our various stashes of medication*, cleaned them out and took all of the vials of expired ones to the nearby recycling center for the drug take-back day.  We still had a vial of painkillers from my c-section with Evan and he turns five next month.  Pretty sad.

I played with the dog, despite my still being ticked at him for eating all of the berries off of my brand new blueberry plants last week.

I made some pumpkin granola bars with chunks of chocolate in them.  I had to keep myself from eating the entire batch in one sitting.

I gathered up items for our church's upcoming garage sale.  I teared up a bit at the thought of giving away the little kitchen that my kids played with for years.  I did not tear up at the thought of giving away the breast pump that tortured me for months on end.

I finally checked out the Indian grocery store/takeout place in our neighborhood and picked up some yummy chicken tikka masala.  There was so much that it served as my lunch and dinner.  And the naan that came with it was scrumptious.

I did some pre-emptive laundry before the campers brought home a couple of bagfuls of dirty, sweaty clothes and sheets.  How exciting, right?

I tried to claim a boatload of boys' dress-up clothes from a mom who posted them for sale on our neighborhood message board, but someone beat me to it.  :(

And I painted these to decorate the kids' newly painted bathroom:



They're supposed to be bluebonnets and a sunflower to coordinate with the blue paint I used in the bathroom.  I think they look pretty good for someone who doesn't really know how to paint.





They're also meant to go along with the tissue box I painted last month:




As it was my last free weekend until the next camping trip in September, I savored every moment of peace and quiet.  I just hope I can channel that calm come this summer when the kids are driving me crazy!


*Yes, I know you're supposed to keep all medications in the same spot and out of reach of children, but I bet even the head of the FDA keeps a bottle of ibuprofen in their kitchen cabinet for easy access.

I Would if I Could

Things I'd like to say to some of my FB friends (but won't for obvious reasons)....

1.  For the life of me, I can not figure out why you're sending me a friend request.  You were a jerk to me in high school and now you want to be my friend?

2. Why do you "like" your own FB status or picture?  You wouldn't have posted it if you didn't like it already.

3. Please don't whine to me about how you don't like the things I "like".  Chances are, if you don't like the things I "like" then I don't like the things you "like", either.  The difference is that I've figured out how to block seeing your "likes".

4. On a related note, there is a difference between "liking" something and reposting it.  I'll admit that I  have strong opinions on a lot of things, but I choose not to use FB the way that you do by reposting every single thing I agree with.

5. Enough with the ambiguous status updates, i.e. "I'm having the worst day ever but I can't talk about it" or "Some people need to mind their own business and stop sticking their noses in things they know nothing about".  (Actually, that last one is usually a run-on with some sort of profanity, texting language and/or terrible grammar in it - "Sum people need to stop being a h8er and mind there own &*%$ing bizness and stop stickin there fat ^&%$ing noses in things they don't know nothin about.")  (It actually pained me to write that.)

6. On a similar note, if you're going to use FB for a rant of some sort and expect people to take you seriously, you should probably check your spelling and grammar before you hit "post".  Prime example?  One of my friends posted, "John Doe* - your so dumb!"  Gah!

7. If you're going to post a link to an article with some sort of snarky comment, please be sure to have read and understood the article before doing so.  Otherwise, you look about as smart as the people in examples #5 and #6.

8. Snopes is your friend.  Use it before posting some kind of inflammatory article/quote/unsubstantiated statistic.  If you tell me you don't trust Snopes because it has some kind of "agenda", please just stay off the internet completely delete me.  Seriously.

9. Posting hateful opinions on the same topic several times a week is not going to change my mind on any issue.  It is going to make me think a whole lot less of you, however.

10. If you think you're going to make me feel bad about deleting me, you won't.  Chances are, if you dislike me that much, I've probably already blocked you or haven't gotten around to deleting you first. 


Whew!  I feel much better now.  :)


*Names have been changed to protect the stupid.

Bluebonnet Picture Overload

We took the kids out for our annual bluebonnet pictures this past weekend.  We had to bribe them with pizza, but you do what you gotta do, right?

Once we uploaded them to the computer, I got to looking at our past bluebonnet photos because I'd have to say that of all the traditions we have in Texas, I think this my absolute favorite one.


(2004)


(2005)


(2006)


(2007)


(2008)


(2009)


(2010)


(2011)


(2012)


(2013)


I told Ryan that someday I'm going to make a little photo book with nothing but our annual bluebonnet photos in it.

At that point, I will officially be old.

When I Grow Up

I don't know what I want to do when I grow up Evan goes to Kindergarten next year.

I've been out of the workforce for ten years.  Ten years.  No one wants to hire a mom of three who hasn't been employed for an entire decade, especially when she will still need to be the parent who has to take off when a kid is sick or needs a dental cleaning (why oh why can I never get them an after-school appointment?).  The closest thing I can find that fits my requirements (off in the summer, keeps the same schedule as school, gives me time to get the kids to their activities in the afternoon) are becoming a sub at one of their schools or working at Evan's current pre-school.

I'm a certified teacher and could technically do either of those jobs.  But I don't want to do either one of those jobs.  If we really needed the money, then yes, I'd suck it up and do it, but the thought of holding my tongue spending my day with other people's children and then being nice to my own at the end of the day sounds nearly impossible for me.  I decided when Syd was born that I had just enough patience to be a good teacher or to be a good mother, but that I could not do both.  The women who can do both have my utmost respect, that's for sure.

So, despite my desire to add to the college fund, it's probably just not going to happen.

The way I see it, stay-at-home moms traditionally (and yes, stereotypically) have four options:
1. Drink
2. Shop
3. Volunteer
4. Find a hobby

As for #1 - I'm not much of a drinker.  An occasional glass of wine or cocktail is more than enough for me, especially since alcohol messes with my sleep cycle and after years of sleeplessness due to insomnia or those three little people who wake me up with an earache, vomiting or a fear of thunder, I refuse to intentionally let anything interrupt my sleep.

As for #2 - I'm too cheap/frugal to be a shopper.  The guilt of spending money on myself far outweighs any enjoyment I get out of whatever object or item of clothing I've bought so this is not an option for me.  And after listening to a co-worker gripe about this quality in his wife, I think Ryan is quite thankful I'm not a shopper.

As for #3 - I've tried.  And I will continue to try.  But it is hard to volunteer when you're an introvert, especially when the other volunteers are clique-ish and snooty.  I prefer my volunteer work to be the kind that can be done at home by myself (Girl Scout troop treasurer, Sunday School class secretary).  Sigh.

As for #4 - Not a problem - I have lots of hobbies.  I love to read.  I go to the gym a few times a week.  I go to a Moms' Bible Study at church.  I like researching recipes and trying them out.  I've started making all kinds of foods that I usually used to buy - yogurt, granola, jams, hummus, vanilla (this is so easy and so much cheaper than the store-bought stuff!).  I've been painting a bit, too.  The problem is, as much as I love these hobbies, none of them will help me contribute to the braces/college/vacation funds.  I thought the chocolate business would work, but my state doesn't allow me to sell them because they're candy.

If there's a way for me to turn one of my hobbies into something more, I haven't figured it out yet....

I guess I wish that I had some sort of passion that I could turn into a career.  I am envious of Sarah, who has turned her passion for encouraging women to have the births they want into a career as a doula.  I'm envious of moms who have turned their love of photography into businesses taking pictures of sweet little newborns.  I'm jealous of the moms who have a job that they can freelance or work part-time, like the speech therapists and writers that I know.

Anyway....enough middle-class/first-world whining.  I know I should appreciate being able to be in the position I am and there are women all over the world who would trade places with me in a heartbeat.

In short, I really need to get over it.

But for the life of me, I just can't figure out how.

Spring Break Fun

We had a lot of fun over our Spring Break last week.  I'd searched and searched for somewhere fun for us to go and stay (resort-type places), but was overwhelmed by the prices and underwhelmed by what we'd get for those prices so we stuck around town.

First off, we took the kids to their first Cirque de Soleil show as my early birthday present.  Sydney loved it.  Liam thought it was just OK.  Evan was asleep by the end.  So now we know to only buy three tickets to that sort of thing and find a babysitter for the other two!

The boys spent some time with my parents while Syd and I took in a movie and dog-sat for my sister.  Max was not too thrilled to have company, but I did find it hilarious that my sister's dog, who is easily twice the size of Max, kept giving him "you are such an idiot" looks.

Then the kids went to Ryan's mom's house for a couple of days so that I could paint the bathroom (pictures coming soon).

And the real fun began.  Ryan took off a couple of days and we drove out to the Blue Bell Creamery (along with everyone else from the area).  We'd taken the tour a few years ago, but the boys didn't remember it so we decided to take it again.  We weren't allowed to take pictures inside, but we managed to still have some fun outside while we waited for our turn:





And there was a "free" sample at the end:



We went on to play at super cool park in the area and have lunch at the tiny airport's diner.  There's nothing like eating and watching small planes take off and land.

We finished off our week at Kemah, which is definitely a tourist trap, but still lots of fun:










(Their very first Icee's!)

And my favorite pictures from the whole week:






We had a great time, but now I'm worried that they're going to expect this kind of fun all summer long!