Letters

Dear American Idol,

Please stop running over your allotted time. I don't care about seeing the last five minutes of your show and I certainly don't like missing the last five minutes of Glee because my DVR doesn't know that you are a time hog. You are past your prime, anyway, and now it's time for another show to shine.

A Thirty-Something Gleek


Dear Guy With a Train Whistle as Your Car Horn,

What made you think that getting an actual train whistle installed in your truck was a good idea? And what exactly is funny about blowing it behind innocent and unsuspecting joggers and cyclists? I have a feeling that one day soon you're going to regret blowing that horn. After all, this is Texas and lots of people carry concealed weapons. I think even you can do the math on that one.

I'm Just Sayin',
A Neighbor Who Believes in Karma


Dear Boys,

Please stop tearing up and breaking all of our toys; pretty soon you won't have any left. On a similar note, please stop peeling the wallpaper off the walls and ripping out the individual slats in the window blinds. The two of you and your antics are making me lose what's left of my mind.

Love,
Mommy


Dear School Board Jerks,

Thanks a lot for firing all of the nurses and librarians in the school district and replacing them with minimum-wage aides. You've really shown where your priorities lie. And I'll be letting you know where mine lie when I vote in the school board elections next month.

Not-so-Sincerely,
A Very Ticked-off Parent


Dear My Favorite Grocery Store,

Thank you for running your "buy this one thing, get these five things free" specials. You really do help me feed my family for less. However, I'd appreciate it if your deals included more fresh foods and fewer processed foods. Not everyone wants to buy two packages of bratwurst and then get hot dogs, a block of Velveeta, a bag of chips, a two liter soda and a box of cookies for free. Some of us actually want to feed our families real food.

A Semi-Happy Shopper