Friday, October 22, 2010

Letters

Dear Ryan,

Happy Birthday!  Love you!

Kisses,
Your Wife

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Dear Grocery Store,

Please quit remodeling and moving things around.  I can't find anything and neither can your "associates"!  I'm down to one box of macaroni and cheese and if I can't find it again next week, you get to explain to my two year old and three year old why they can't have any for lunch.

Sincerely,
A Disgruntled Shopper

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Dear Radio Station,

You claim to play today's latest hits.  Let me clarify, you claim to play today's latest rock/pop hits.  Please quit sneaking in a country song every fifth or sixth song.  I know I live in Texas, but if I wanted to listen to country music, I'd listen to an actual country music station.

About to Find Another Station,
The Only Texan Who Doesn't Like Country Music

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Dear Helicopter Parents,

I understand the desire to both give your child some freedom and protect them at the same time.  Really, I do.  But you either need to pick them up from school in your car or ride your bike with them as they ride their bikes home from school.  Driving alongside them as they ride their bikes a)blocks the road for the people going over 5 mph and b)makes you look like crazy parents.

Thanks So Much,
The Mom in the Red Minivan Who Keeps Rolling Her Eyes at You

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Dear Political Pundits on Both Sides of the Aisle,

Seriously, you need to either put your money where your mouth is or just stop talking altogether.  Either get some guts and run for office or keep your opinions to yourself.   Quit telling people what to think and let them think for themselves.   YOU are what's ruining this country - not the government, not the church and not the people who have opinions contrary to your own.  YOU.


And to the people who spend all day watching one-sided "news":  get a life and find a new hobby.

Seriously,
A Voter Who is Sick of ALL of You

3 comments:

  1. Yep, word to your mother. I agree with all of the above.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Tien said...

    This post is hilarious. I can't believe there are parents who drive along side their kids while they are riding their bikes. I hope that is not me in a few years. And, I totally agree about the political pundits...all they do is create a cloud of confusion.

    ReplyDelete