Monday, March 28, 2011


Dear Homeowner's Association,

I dare you to send us another letter about the condition of our yard.  In case you didn't notice, we had several freezing days in a row and everything in everybody's yards died.  It's called winter, you morons.  We've spent a good 25 hours the past few weekends raking, trimming, mowing the grass and sprucing up the flower beds.  So if you send us another "polite" letter, I'm going to "politely" tell you where to put it.

The Homeowners

P.S.  You nosy people have way too much time on your hands.

Dear Pollen,

You win.  We're all sick.  Now go away.

With Sniffles,
Our Stuffy Noses

Dear Rain,

Please come wash away the nasty pollen.   We'd be ever so grateful.

Our Sinuses

Dear Future Vacation Bible Schoolers,

I have worked really hard to develop a fun curriculum for you this summer.  I'm sorry if you don't like everything I've picked for you to do, but seeing as I'm not an elementary level teacher, I think I've done a pretty good job.  I hope you have lots of fun making butter and ice cream, tasting various spices and doing several fun cooking experiments!

On Pins and Needles,
The VBS Curriculum Coordinator

Dear My Little Tomato Plants,

This is the first year I've attempted to grow anything other than herbs.  You're looking great now, but I have a brown thumb and I'm worried for your future.  Please hang in there.

Fingers Crossed,
A Hopeful Gardener

Dear Kindle,

Oh, how I love thee!  I still enjoy reading regular books (with all your bells and whistles, you still can't replicate the smell of a book), but I can already tell that we're going to have a long relationship.  Although, I do wish I could figure out how to find more free books because yes, I'm still cheap frugal.

In Heaven,
A Happy Reader


  1. Precisely the reason we told our realtor not to show us anything within a HOA neighborhood! Hope the rain comes and the pollen goes. Hope your tomatoes give you a bumper crop and the VBS is a huge success. Still jealous of the kindle :)

  2. Um, we would be RUN OUT of a neighborhood with a HOA. For reals.

  3. Tien said...

    I bet you would get a standing ovation from the other homeowners if you told them where to put their letter.

    The VBS curriculum sounds AWESOME! We did a Chef Academy cooking class last weekend, and all the kids had so much fun.

    Good luck on the tomatoes!! I have a feeling that in 1-2 months, you are not going to know what to do with 100 tomatoes. :-)

  4. Our HOA never does anything. There are lots of yards/houses that I WISH they would do something about. Guess you can't have it all.