Letters

Dear Snooty PTO Mom,

Thank you for reminding me why I don't volunteer up at the kids' school more often.  The next time I see your name on the sign-up sheet for an event, I'll be sure to look for something else to help with.

Hope You Don't Drown the Next Time it Rains,
Not a Stepford Mom
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Dear Nice PTO Moms,

Thank you for demonstrating what true volunteerism looks like.  Maybe most of you aren't so bad after all.

Sincerely,
The Mom Who Sporadically Volunteers
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Dear Old Man in the Crappy Pick-up Truck,

I realize that our morning routines are similar enough that one of us is stuck driving behind the other most days of the week.  I'm going to make sure, however, that it is you stuck behind me from now on.  There is a fine line between having an opinion and looking like a lunatic; you crossed that line about 18 bumper stickers ago.

Tired of the Visual Pollution,
The Minivan Behind You
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Dear Uterus,

Thank you for your service.  You've carried three beautiful kids and I appreciate it.  However, your job is done.  Please stop torturing me each month.

Miserably,
An Ibuprofen Lover
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Dear Kindergarten Teachers,

You have my respect for dealing with five and six year olds all day.  May I suggest a change, however?  If a little boy has a hard time getting his work done, making him miss recess to finish it is a bad idea.  I promise you, if you'd let him go outside and run off some of his energy, he'd finish his work for you.

Slightly Frustrated,
Liam's Mom
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Dear Girl Scout Cookie Buyers,

Thank you so much for making this a great fundraising year!  However, I'd like to point out that the girls have no control over how much the boxes of cookies cost.  They also don't control the ingredients.  If you don't want to eat trans-fats and GMOs, then you probably need to bake your own cookies.

Just Sayin',
A Thin-Mint Lover
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Dear Girl Scout Council,

I realize you set the price for cookies.  But at $4.00 a box, it is beyond ridiculous that the troop earns only 60 cents a box.

So Ready for Cookie Season to be Over,
A Tired Mom