Thursday, August 1, 2013


Dear Neighbors to our Right,

It would be great if you could stop throwing your trash in our yard.  It would be great if you could stop playing basketball before 10 pm.  It would really be great if you would watch your mouths while playing basketball so that I can let my kids play outside again.  It would be great if you could learn how to work your car alarm so that it wouldn't go off every morning between one and four.  It would be great if you didn't tell your kid that he could play at our house all day (lunch included!) without asking me first.  It would be great if you could make your car payments so that we don't have to watch the repo men come and tow away two of your three vehicles.  But then again, if you're not keeping up with your car payments then you're probably not keeping up with your rent, either, and you will be evicted soon.

Here's Hoping,
A Neighbor Who Has Really Tried to be Nice

Dear Neighbor Two Doors Down to our Left,

I realize that it's difficult to pack up a house and get ready to move with a five year old around.  But dropping her off at my house several days in row is not cool.  Neither is asking us to watch her as we pull into our driveway after getting home from our vacation.  And neither is asking the sweet neighbor who lives between us to text me and ask when I'm getting home so you can drop off your kid.  Not cool, man.

Find Yourself a Babysitter,
A Tired Mom

Dear Netflix,

Would you please add the next two seasons of Sons of Anarchy to your instant streaming programming?  We're almost done with the seasons you offer and we are hooked.  Hooked.

About to Go Buy Some Leather Cuts,
Two Law Abiding Citizens Who've Been Dreaming About Motorcycles

Dear Sweet Daughter,

You wanted to paint your room so we did.  You wanted white, whispy curtains so we got them.  You want a green lamp so I'm looking for one (although it would help if you weren't so picky).  And now that I've done my part, you need to do yours and put all your stuff back in your room.  I'm fairly certain your little brother would like to have his room back when he gets home from his grandma's house.

Get to Work Please,

Dear Summer,

Please stop flying by.

A Mom Who Likes Sleeping Past 6am

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