Saturday, June 6, 2009

The Perfect Pet

We've been asked a lot lately when we're getting a pet. We've heard all the reasons: we finally have a yard big enough, pets teach kids responsibility, pets are fun. Blah, blah, blah.

We'd get a cat in a heartbeat if we could, but Ryan is very allergic to them, like thirty sneezes in a row and eyes swollen shut allergic. And while I know we could have an "outside" cat, I know I'd be a softy in cold/rainy weather and want to let it in the house which isn't possible. Stupid allergies.

Then there are dogs. Ummm, no. Dogs are too needy: washing, walking, feeding, picking up poo. And all the licking......ick. The upside to a dog? I wouldn't have to worry about sweeping the crumbs off the kitchen floor ten times a day.

Ryan mentioned fish as an alternative, but fish just seem too impersonal: too much like a doctor's office or something. Plus, you can't pet a fish. Well, I guess you could, but they're a little slimy and pulling them out of the water to do it suffocates them and although I'm not the biggest fan of fish, I don't want to hurt them.

I've been feeling pretty guilty about denying our kids a pet, though. There is something to be said for having a little non-human friend to snuggle up to when you're feeling down or lonely. And who doesn't want someone to love you unconditionally like pets tend to do?

So I thought about the qualities I was looking for in a furry friend and came up with the perfect pet for our household. See if you can guess what it is based on its qualities:

* Low maintenance
* Only has to be fed once a day
* Easy to clean
* Quiet
* Doesn't shed
* Has to live inside the house
* Easy to train
* Very little waste to pick up
* Prefers to sleep alone
* Doesn't mind being chased by children
* Can be left home alone for long stretches of time

And my favorite quality: Like a dog, it will take care of the crumbs under the kids' chairs.

The downsides to this pet:

* If too active, it won't live more than five years or so
* It can be a bit distant and stand-offish
* It's not warm and fuzzy
* It only comes in purebred form which is a bit pricey for our budget

Figured it out yet?

It's this little guy.

Isn't he cute?

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