Thursday, October 29, 2009


Hello, my name is Jana and I am a fretter. A worrier. A person who obsesses over things that may or may not happen. A person who worries unnecessarily.

There are the things that everyone worries about - money, the health of my kids, vaccine/no vaccine*, the economy, the environment. You know, the standard.

Then there are the things that are completely stupid, especially in hindsight. Like worrying about how to get my weekly grocery shopping done when there's 100% chance of rain two days in a row. It's not like we'd starve if it took me a couple of days to get to the store. We'd be, at the most, inconvenienced, yet I still worry. See? Just dumb stuff.

Currently, I'm worrying about how many kids will come to Liam's upcoming 3rd birthday party. I just found out that one of his classmates is having his birthday party the same day as Liam's. The other boy's party is at a bouncy house place (with a variety of bouncy houses) from 12 til 2. We're having Liam's party at our house with a bouncy house from 2 til 4. (Just for the record, Liam's party invitations went out before the other boy's invitations.) How many parents are going to have their kids out for four consecutive hours of bouncing and/or cake eating? And if they make their kids choose, who's party are they going to pick? The party with ten bouncy houses or the party with one?

But then I think, Why should I care? All that matters is that the kids who do come have a good time. As a matter of fact, as long as Liam has a good time, I should be happy. Needless to say, I'm still working on that one.

The other big worry subject is Ryan's job. He works for a major bank and while his job is thankfully safe (which is a miracle in today's economy), he's pretty much figured out that the path for promotion lies in being transferred. To a whole other country. On a whole other continent. And, despite the fact that we'd be thousands of miles from our families, I am open to living in London or Sydney. After all, it would be a fabulous experience for me the kids. But the other options are Tokyo and Sao Paolo (Brazil). I am not so thrilled about those options. And we just found out The Bank is sending him to NYC for a two day seminar regarding the financial climate of South America. So the fretting begins.

So, my question to you is: how do I stop all the fretting? What do you do to put your mind at ease in situations like these?


* As an aside, we decided to get the H1N1 vaccine for Liam since kids with respiratory issues seem to have the most serious complications (like pneumonia, hospitalization, etc.) from the swine flu. Our pedi's office only has the mist and due to his respiratory issues, he can't have the live vaccine. So now we have to wait for the office to get the injection and who knows when that will be. Yet something else to fret about.....


  1. UGH! But I can relate. I too am a fretter about mostly inconsequential things. However, I do not think the possibilty of moving to Brazil is inconsequential. The birthday party thing is probably just your worry that Liam will notice if not many kids come to his party. I do the same thing and that is ultimately why we don't invite the kids' classes to the parties.
    As for how to stop...? I hope someone tells YOU so that I will know how MYSELF! In the meantime, I will commiserate with you any time :)

  2. No advise- big fretter here, too. All I can ever tell myself to help is, "Worrying changes NOTHING. Literally NOTHING." Now, thinking of strategies to change likely unpleasant outcomes- I call that PLANNING, not worrying, so that's all fine and dandy with me. So I guess maybe think of ways to bribe your husband's company to at least send him someplace cool?
    Or, you know, serenity to deal with any situation, blah blah blah boring.

  3. I tend to be more laid back about things. I do worry about things, but mostly I just plan and go with the flow. My mother-in-law is a big worrier like this. To the point where she hears sirens go by the house and worries which kid was in an accident (when they were teens). Or hears bad news from one of the towns that her kids lives in and worries that they were involved until she hears from them again. (Fortunately she doesn't call and worry. She'll just stew at home for days/weeks until she hears from us.)

    But I think that all your things will work themselves out eventually. The job though! Wow! I hope everything works out well there for your family. When I was in high school, my dad had the opportunity to take a job in Paris, France. I was a senior in HS, and all I knew was I wanted to finish school and go to college at home. I would not have gone with them. In hindsight, it would have been a fabulous opportunity, but never having been far from family and friends I didn't see that at the time. (I am glad I got to visit Paris with him a year later though. That was fun.)

  4. I don't think fretting is all that terrible and actually helps people deal with situations and have all aspects carefully thought out and analyzed. I am not a worrier by nature, but I probably should be more of one, as I think there are benefits to worrying.

    I have to agree that London and Sydney would be AWESOME, and Tokyo and Sao Paolo would be less awesome because the dominant language isn't English (or close to English), but what an adventure it would be regardless (with or without a promotion)!!!

    ~ Tien

  5. Wow, wow, wow - I am so sleepy right now, but will mull this post over before I write.... I am fretting over Ryan's possible transfer, though!