Really

One of my favorite segments of "Saturday Night Live" is the news, specifically when the anchor (Seth Meyers, Amy Poehler, Tina Fey or any combination of the three) does a short aside titled "Really!?!".  It is very sarcastic like me and makes me laugh every single time.  If I could be a writer for the show, these would be my contributions*:

Designer diapers?  Really?!?  Do you really need denim or paisley diapers?  Do your baby's friends make fun of her because her diapers are plain white?  I mean, really.  You do realize that they are more expensive than the plain kind, right?  And that your baby poops in them and then you throw them away, right?  That's why they're called disposable....because you dispose of them.  Really.

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So, Florida, you're really not going to close the Panhandle beaches.  Really?!?  Golf ball sized tar balls are washing up on the beaches and you're not closing them.  Do you really think tourists (who can't get their deposit back unless the beaches are officially closed) are going to, say, spend ten long hours in a car with three children just so those children can swim in a condo swimming pool?  Really?!?  

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Oh Facebook "friend", you really think your life is so hard, do you?  You, the mother who dumps her three year old off at daycare five days a week and has a nanny come in three days a week for her one year old, despite her "I'm a proud stay-at-home mom!" declarations.  Your housekeeper and nanny both cancel on you due to the rain and now you're stuck in your "dirty" house with your one year old and you want me to feel sorry for you?  Really?  You who brags that you shop at Nordstrom so often that the valet guy knows you by name.  You who has to go get a massage and a facial after one tough day at home with, gasp, both of your children.  You really want me to feel sorry for you?  Really?!?


*Yes, I know these are mean and sarcastic.  They're supposed to be, so no nasty comments, please.