Anyone with kids knows that asking your kids to use the bathroom before you go somewhere is a complete waste of time. Oh, they might actually "go" before you leave, but you'll still wind up taking them to the bathroom wherever you go.
Every Wednesday, I make all three kids go to the bathroom before we leave for swim lessons. Both Sydney and Evan can last the entire hour we're there without having to visit the nasty swim lessons bathroom. However, halfway through his lesson, Liam comes and finds me for our weekly trip to the chlorine-smelling pair of toilets. I'm usually reading a book with Evan when the side door opens to reveal my four and half year old drowned rat with a look of urgency on his face and both hands holding his bottom. Every. Single. Lesson. And he's not alone. There are two other little boys around the same age who do the exact same thing. Their mothers and I joke that the swim lesson people must put some kind of laxative in the water.
And let's not forget the park. Five minutes into a trip to the park, at least one of the kids comes up to me doing the potty dance. Every. Single. Time. And then, of course, we have to leave the park to high tail it home because very few parks have bathrooms. It's always fun racing home with one desperate child and their two angry siblings.
Oh, and the grocery store! That's always a fun one. Just as I reach the meat department in the back left corner of the giant store, at least one of the boys says in his outside voice, "I need to go poo poo right now, Mommy." Every. Single. Time. Naturally, the restroom at our giant grocery store is near the front right corner of the store so I have to weave my way across the entire store at an inhuman pace in order to walk the nearly quarter of a mile (I am not kidding) to the restroom before the offending child has done something to destroy a shopping cart and get me banned from the store for life.
No parenting books (that I've read anyway) ever mention that your child will need to visit the bathroom of every place you visit. I've found that they also never mention that having to use the bathroom is contagious among the under five crowd.
Maybe these are just the things they want you to find out for yourself.
Two Weeks Later
1 day ago