Gettin' Old

You know you're getting old when you...

...watch the national news every night. Even the media know it's an old person activity: all of the advertisements are pushing medications on the elderly.

...wash out, dry and reuse ziploc bags.

...get mad about having dog poop in your front yard.*

...listen to talk radio.*

...can name the price of milk at three different grocery stores.

...scan the obituaries looking at the ages of the deceased.

...go to Hooter's just because you like the wings. In fact, you no longer find the waitresses cute enough to excuse the bad service.*

...begin looking at the amount of fiber listed on food labels.

...use the phrase, "When I was your age...."

...get really annoyed at the teenager life guards not because they did anything wrong, but just because they're teenagers.


* These are attributed to someone other than myself. You don't think I'd actually go to Hooter's, do you?