You know you're done being pregnant when...
...your pre-schooler knows that the first place to look for you is the bathroom.
...the fear of the weekly weigh-in at the doctor's office has you buying reduced fat ice cream.
...you're desperate enough to eat the above-mentioned ice cream even though it tastes like frozen aspartame.
...your toddler's favorite game is lifting up your shirt and playing with the remains of your belly button.
...you've watched enough episodes of A Baby Story that you think you can deliver your own baby/perform your own c-section.
...your biggest concern regarding the location of your child's birthday party is access to restrooms.
...your newest accessory isn't a cute new purse or strappy sandals, but one of these bad boys to alleviate your pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel syndrome.
...the pillows you use at night to stay comfortable take up so much room your poor hubby falls out of bed when he attempts to roll over.
...the polish on your toenails is chipping off but you don't care because it's not like you can reach them to repaint them anyway.
...at least once a day a random stranger either predicts the gender of the baby based on your belly shape or guesses your due date based on your belly size.
...you're looking forward to getting the catheter before your c-section just so you can go more than an hour and a half without peeing.
...you look forward to doing your baby kick counts just so you have a valid excuse to lie down for 30 minutes during the day.
...you have the overwhelming urge to get down on your hands and knees to scrub the kitchen floor.
...you're so tired of being pregnant you make lists about it.
Two Weeks Later
1 hour ago