Letters

Dear Stomach Virus,

Please leave my daughter's body. And while you're at it, leave the rest of us alone, too.

Thanks in advance,
Jana

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Dear Sydney,

If you're too sick to go to school, then you're too sick to watch TV all day. Be prepared to take a nap.

Love,
Mom

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Dear Pharmacy,

If you only have one register open and have seven people waiting in line for that one register, you might want to think about moving the clerk at the completely unused cosmetics register to the second one in the pharmacy. I'm just sayin'.

Thanks,
Jana

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Dear Lady in Line at the Pharmacy,

Socks with high heels? Really? Is there a new trend that I'm unaware of?

Totally out of the fashion loop,
The lady in line behind you

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Dear Liam,

If I survive your toddlerhood without getting any gray hairs, it will be a miracle. I love you more than life itself, but, Dude, the tantrums have got to stop.

Love,
Mommy

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Dear Snotty Moms in my Old Neighborhood,

The world does extend beyond the Loop and even the Beltway. And the world does not revolve around you and your opinions. Get over yourselves.

Sincerely,
Jana

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And lastly, a real/non-sarcastic one:

Dear Ms. School Nurse,

Thank you for being so sweet to my sick little girl and taking care of her for the two hours she was in your office. I hope all of my kids get to have you as their school nurse.

Much appreciation,
Sydney's mom