Move Over, Thomas Edison

If I were an inventor, these would be my next few projects:

* Chauffeur's windows in minivans so that when the crying/screaming/whining gets to be too much, parents can simply push a button and isolate the noise.

* Teeny-tiny garters to hold up baby socks.

* A fridge lock that a two year old can't figure out and/or break within 24 hours of installment.

* Little screens for the backs of vehicles that display messages like "Quit Tailgating Me!" and "Please Turn Your Blinker Off".

* A school bus GPS tracking/parent alert system that lets parents know exactly when they need to leave the house to get a child off the bus (and thus help them feel less guilty about leaving two napping children in the house while they wait at the corner).

* Diet, caffeine free soda that truly tastes just as good as the real thing.

* A kitchen floor that somehow repels the spills, crumbs and various vegetables that children launch from their plates and bowls.

* A magic potion to stop time so that parents can keep their children in a favorite developmental stage forever.


How about you? Anything you'd like to see invented?